


Bumpy Road

by Alquilia



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-26 13:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2653097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alquilia/pseuds/Alquilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, post episode 33. Carmilla goes after the sword but never dies in the final battle... Or what remains once the dust is settled ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It begins with the End

**Author's Note:**

> I'm keeping the same setting as the webserie, it's just an alternate storyline that picks up after episode 33. This will be a Hollstein centric fic but the first chapter will be exclusively from Carmilla's perspective.

The webcam had been taunting Carmilla for the last fifteen minute, its black lens lifelessly staring. Laura was gone, probably to hand out her infamous final Lit paper. The vampire knew the room would be empty and she took advantage of it. She was sitting in the new computer's chair, trying to put the feelings spinning in her head into coherent words. Not that Laura would ever listen to her message, she would probably delete it. "We're done". She could still hear the words resonate inside her head. She shook her head lightly, fixing her eyes on the lens. 

 

"If you think I'm filming an apology video, you'll be disappointed." She cringed internally and gentled her tone. "The moment Mother offered me that deal, I knew I was going to lose you. She did too. And she was right again." She closed her eyes, swallowing the bitterness in her throat. "Or maybe not. Is it possible to lose someone you never really had to begin with ?" She sighed, her eyes lowering to the desk. "But if that part of the story was inevitable, I'm not going to let history repeat itself. I won't let Mother win. I don't know if I will survive that fight but I'm done watching her take people I care about. I'm not sure what you remember from before the possession so I just..." Her voice caught in her throat and she took another break. "Need you to know that everything I've done, every decision I've made in the past weeks, they were all for you, Laura. Maybe some were wrong, maybe choosing to sacrifice Kirsch to save you was wrong. I'm still not sorry. But I do apologize for not telling you. I should have, I have no excuse. I was just trying to keep you safe from... From _her_."

She stood up, a last glance toward the camera. "Between the two of us, you're the hero.  Maybe it's time for you to realize it, cupcake." She turned the computer off and walked to the closet. She grabbed black jeans - she hated them but there was no way her leather pants would survive the depth of the ocean - a matching dark tee-shirt and her leather jacket. She slid it on her shoulders, packed her soy milk carton in a backpack and walked out the door. 

 

A flash of lightning made her jump. Carmilla had been staring down at the ocean since she had climbed the abrupt cliff. She was at the limits of campus, surrounded by nothing but water. Calm, endless,  _dark_  water. She slowly took off her leather jacket, throwing it next to her backpack. She stood at the edge of the solid ground, looking up at the starry sky. She never lost sight of the lights overlooking the black night when she took the last step forward, diving feet first in the ocean. She shivered at  the contact with water and she swam up, taking a deep intake of air as she broke the surface. She didn't need oxygen and she didn't care much for the freezing temperature but the idea of diving so far underwater reminded her of all the years wasted in a coffin.

"Come on, stupid vampire. It's just a little dive." She mumbled to herself in a weak attempt to calm the frenzy of her thoughts in a deep last breath. She pushed away the fear, took a long last look at the stars and plunged, never looking back.

 

 

She advanced as close to the cliff as possible, occasionally diving between rocks. Even her supernatural sense of sight couldn't distinguish much at her current depth. She was starting to feel the force of water on her body and tried to move faster to clear her mind. The feeling of the liquid mass surrounding her, her blindness, the pressure on her body, everything was bringing her decades back. For a flashing moment, she saw herself lying in the tiny wooden box. The metallic taste of blood that still haunted her invaded her mouth. She had refused to eat properly for days when she had been free because the thought of blood was enough to bring back painful memories. How pathetic for a vampire. It had taken almost three weeks and countless seizures for her inner predator to snap and literally take control of her body. She had lost rational thoughts, guided by a survival instinct she didn't know she had. She had came dangerously close to killing an innocent child and when she had finally come out of her starvation-induced hunger, it had been enough to make her feed herself regularly again. But there were still days where the smallest sip of blood made her feel nauseous. 

Carmilla was swimming as fast as possible, her eyes constantly scanning the cliff for even the tiniest sign of the blade. Her movements were getting frantic and she stopped for a second. The cavern was nowhere in view, nor was the sword. A unexpected current slammed her body into the cliff, sharp rocks piercing through the thin material of her shirt. She cringed, seriously thinking about going back to the surface for a second. She would never had done it, there was too much at stake and there was no other solution but as soon as the thought of giving up had formed itself in her mind, a ball of light came out of the darkness. It was white and so small, as big as firefly. It swam effortlessly, almost flying in the water. Carmilla didn't move, partly because she had no chance of escaping its agility and partly because she felt no sense of danger. It came near the vampire's hand, sliding in between her fingers. She could feel its warmth and her eyes couldn't escape the mysterious fish. She had to follow when it moved closer to the surface. 

The light guided her higher, and doubt entered Carmilla's mind. What if it had been sent by her mother ? She didn't even consider turning away before she noticed a hole in the cliff. She hadn't noticed it on the way down. She approached the wall, her eyes catching a golden flash in the dark water. She carefully extended her arm in the narrow opening, feeling the rocks with her hand. Her knuckles brushed against cold metal and she turned her head, trying to see inside the hole. The light came closer, brushing against her cheek in a warm movement. She finally saw it, the blade of Hastur. Wrapping her fingers around the grip, she pulled it out of its rocky prison. It came easily, almost flying toward her. She didn't even look at it, trying to make her way to the surface as fast as possible to escape the weapon's mysterious powers. She broke the water merely a minute later, swimming to the shore. As soon as she could feel the solid ground under her feet, she took the sword out of the water. The blade took an electric blue color for a second, his grip heating up. She started to climb up the cliff, ignoring the growing burning sensation in her palm. She needed to retrieve her leather jacket and her bag, take the sword back to campus and find her Mother.

 

Almost an hour later, she practically crawled to her bag, throwing the weapon as far away as she could. She opened it, frantically looking for her blood container. Bringing it to her lips with shaking hands, she almost inhaled the liquid. The hunger was deep inside her and she caught the last drop of blood, her tongue looking for any remaining traces at the carton's opening. When she finally put it down, she felt a little more settled. Disgusted, she could only look at the blade. Climbing the cliff holding the sword made her feel like she was about to have a seizure. How was she supposed to bring it back to campus and fight off not only her mother but also the evil creature the Dean was serving? She had no expectation when she left the dorm earlier, knowing that her foolish expedition would probably end with her death. But if, and when that moment happen, it would be with the blade deep inside her Mother's heart. Not halfway to campus because she had underestimated the power of the sword. She kicked her empty backpack in rage, making it fell down into the ocean. _She_ had been right. Again. There was nothing to fight with. She sat down, her elbows on her knees and her head hanging low.

She jumped when a warm feeling came over her left hand, looking around with a confused frown on her face. The light from under water was resting on her thumb and she whispered.

"What the..."

The words died in her throat when it flew away in a sudden movement. It hovered above the ground, inches away from the vampire. In a loud noise, it slowly started shifting form with a flash of blinding light. Carmilla put her hand in front of her face, trying to protect her eyes. When she could see again, she froze. A girl was sitting on the ground, inches away from her. A small, blonde haired and pale skinned girl. With a mole under her right eyes and the ghost of a smile on her lips. 

"Hello, M."

 

The vampire tried to regroup her thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence. She finally breathed out "Ell ?" but couldn't go any further. She had thought about their reunion, not knowing when it would come, if it ever did. Sealed in her coffin, she had imagined exactly how it would go, times and times again. In the early years, it had been mostly bitter questions and flaming anger. Then the time passed and she had started to see the situation under the other girl's perspective. Her anger had slowly transformed into sadness, tears and apologies. But none of this scenarios made sense now. Not with the overflowing feelings clouding her mind. She had so many questions, she didn't know where to start. 

"How... ? You've never... Why ?"

"I've tried to reach you in your dreams so many times. But your nightmares... Your feelings are too strong. You couldn't hear me."

"Why now ?" It really wasn't the discussion she wanted to have. She wanted to talk about the last time they saw each other, apologize for her Mother, for her lies. But she wasn't able to voice those feelings just yet so she filled the silence with practical considerations. 

"Because you can't fight alone. I won't let this sword consume you, Mircalla. And you're the only hope for my spirit to finally know peace."

The name. It brought a wave of memory back and the vampire shook her head to stay in the present. 

"I don't even know what to do with it."

Ell stood up, the blade in her hands. 

"I will carry it for you. However, you will have to plunge it into your Mother's heart and destroy the Book of the sacrifice. I can only help so much with the final act of this war."

Carmilla nodded, standing next to the other girl. They look at each other for a long moment. There was a new sadness in Ell's eyes, an old wisdom. The light that attracted the vampire to her in the first place was still hidden somewhere, tarnished by years of pain. She wasn't the same naive, sheltered girl the vampire had fallen for. The blonde seemed to brush it off soon, beginning her walk back to the campus. 

"Shall we ?"

Not answering, Carmilla followed in her steps. 

 

Ell guided her to the Lustig theater building and Carmilla frowned. Maybe they should have left the Alchemy club and the students under the mushrooms influence destroy it, after all. 

"They were clueless."

The smaller girl's voice whispered, barely loud enough for her companion to hear. 

"What ?"

"The giant mushrooms invasion ? It had no purpose. Children experimenting. And it wouldn't have accomplished anything, the sacrifice chamber is underground."  

"Are you aware of everything that happens in Silas ?"

Ell sighed. Or seemed to, her chest animated with a heavy movement. 

"This evil creature, it... It binds our mind into the light. But we're still able to see, to move, to  _feel_. He feeds on our thoughts, he wants our conscience to stay active. It's amusing to him. He craves endless energy when the sacrifice is near."

Carmilla swallowed, reaching out to touch the blonde's shoulder. Her fingers touch a solid warmth, close to a human body's and the small girl looked at her. 

"What will happen to you after..."

"When you'll end it ? We will be at peace. Finally. Are you ready, Mircalla ?"

She barely nodded and they made their way to the entrance. Ell took her hand and quickly brought her away from the main staircase, opting for a dark corridor instead. It was narrow and full of dust, seemingly unused for years. 

"I discovered it not too long ago. I was bored and exploring around campus. It leads to the chamber but I am unsure if anyone is aware."

It was a silent whisper, only her vampire's hearing able to pick up the words. The corridor ended abruptly, a stone wall blocking the path. Carmilla was confused for a moment, before she picked up a buzzing sound beneath their feet. She inspected the ground and found a hatch, made of old wood and metal. She cracked it opened, as silently as possible and the sound became louder. Ell slid closer to her, her head barely at Carmilla's shoulders height. She closed back the hatch. 

"Listen to me. The blade will feel heavier than it did on the cliff. It will drain you, fast. My help will be limited from here. The Light will try to restrain my spirit. But I'll stand by you for as long as possible."

She kissed her cheek in a familiar movement and Carmilla couldn't repress a smile. Despite the betrayal, the sacrifice below them, despite her Mother even, she had  _loved_  that girl and she was thankful for this chance to see her again. So she whispered a "thank you" in her ear and bent down to  return the kiss. 

 

She opened the hatch fully this time, her hands around the metal ring. Chaotic noise immediately exploded around them. A large room similar to the nave of a church was hidden underground. Her Mother was standing next to a stone table, at one end of the chamber. She was holding a book, reading in a language Carmilla was vaguely familiar with. A ball of light was forming in the middle of the room, floating near the ceiling and growing at an alarming speed. The students ready for the sacrifice -including LaF and Kirsch - were aligned next to her mother, guarded by a line of vampires standing in front of them. Carmilla frowned. She had never assisted to a ritual, and she knew her Mother preferred to be alone when it was time to... Dispose of the kidnapped girls. Then why were  _all_  of her Children in the room ? The door of the chamber suddenly blew open in response, making her jump. A flow of people ran through it, among whom Carmilla recognized some girls from the Summer society, almost all of the Zetas and... She sighed. Of course, Laura was leading the group. She was more surprised however to see Perry standing next to her, a wooden stalk in her hand and a determined look on her face. The students approached the line of vampires, an eerie silence floating in the room. Laura stepped forward, and for once Carmilla was glad to see Danny on her heels, a crossbow in her shifting hands. 

"The arrow. Arm it, useless wolf."

She muttered the words, catching the shadow of a smile on Ell's lips. She was also watching intently, still carrying the sword. They were both waiting for the right moment to pounce. The opening of the hatch would let them fall near the Dean, right in front of the stone table. 

Laura's voice abruptly brought Carmilla back to the present. "Give our friends back. You can't keep sacrificing students from your own university, it's... Unethical."

The Dean paused in her reading and the light stopped growing.  

"Poor, naive human. You can't stop me. No one can."

She punctuated her sentence with a raise of her hands and her children started to advance on the students. Carmilla and Ell exchanged a look, waiting for the vampires to pass the opening of the hatch. The humans didn't move, all tightening their grip around their weapons. The Dean looked amused, her eyes never leaving Laura's who was still standing in front of the group. 

"Haven't you figured it out already ? Even my own daughter left you." She walked closer to Laura, standing in the middle of the vampire's line. "Tell me, little Laura. Had she ever told you about what I did  _before_  locking her away in a blood coffin ? How I revealed the monster she is ?" She waited a beat before concluding with a cold chuckle. "Of course she didn't. Everything in her life screams cowardice." She took a few step back, walking to take possession of the book again. "I won't surrender my captives. I will destroy you and all your pathetic human friends instead."

A few seconds later, the dean's army advance led them passed the hatch and Carmilla had a clear view of both her mother and the book. She looked at Ell and extended her opened palm. At the same moment below their feet, Danny fired an arrow in Will's direction. He swatted it away with a grin and ran for the tall redhead and the journalism student. It took no more for both sides to sprint toward each other, clashing in a chaos of noise and movement.

 

Carmilla felt the blade touch her skin and she shivered. Ell gave her an encouraging smile and she jumped down. She landed on her feet, already feeling weak at the knees. She looked up, expecting Ell to follow her but the girl had already disappeared. She felt her Mother's eyes track her and the shiver she felt had nothing to do with the burning sensation in her hand. They exchange a look and the Dean shook her head. 

"I see you've made your decision. You had so much potential, Mircalla. So much potential."

The vampire tightened her jaw. 

"Potential ? To be your little vampiric puppet ? I'm done with you, Mother. Done with hiding for years only to come running back at the snap of your fingers. It ends now."

"Of course, it does." She slowly made her way closer to her daughter, fearless of the mystical weapon. "You can already feel it consume you, can't you ?".

And she could. It was only a deep hunger for now, like she hadn't fed for the last few days. But she could feel her energy slipping away, as she walked to her mother. The blade felt heavier with each step but she couldn't stop moving her feet. Not when she was so close. She stood in front of the older vampire and realized the burning feeling had changed to a tingling sensation that was crawling up her arm and leaving behind a cold numbness. A cruel laugh interrupted her thoughts. 

"Do you see now, sweetheart ? There is no way for you to win. Can you even raise that sword?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Carmilla felt warmth enveloping her hand. Ell materialized at her side, her hands on the vampire's wrist. 

"Maybe she can't. But we can."  

Her mother looked at the small girl and for the first time, Carmilla saw her unsettled. She felt a renewed strength and focused all of her energy on the grip. They pulled the weapon up, the Dean taking half a step back with round, surprised eyes. It was too late and the cold metal was stuck into her heart in a second. The incomprehension on her face soon morphed into a deep sadness. The blade piercing her chest created a deep wound, black blood flowing out. 

"You... Why Mircalla ? I loved you. More than any humans ever could."

The answer was whispered, barely audible against all the chaos behind them. 

"You don't even know what love is, Mother."

Another breath and she was gone. Carmilla could feel it inside her chest, a quick, sharp pain. The fighting in the room suddenly came to a halt, the roaring noise of the light was the only thing disturbing the silence. The other vampires back off from the line of students, disappearing in successive clouds of black smoke. She sighed. Of course, now that Mother was gone, none of them had any reason to fight. 

She stepped away, unable to look at the body of the woman who had raised her. She took back the sword, dragging it to the Sacrifice book laying on the ground. She couldn't feel her right arm but Ell was still at her side, a reassuring touch on her wrist. 

"Finish this. Please."

 

The vampire nodded, using the last of her reserve of energy to raise the weapon a couple of inches away from the ground, over the book. She let it fall in a fluid movement, using her weight to push the blade through the pages. She felt a tremble in the ground as soon as the metal torn through the paper. She fell on her knees, unable to stand any longer or to even look at the evil light dissolving. She forced herself to breathe deeply. It had no biological use but it was a coping mechanism she had developed in the coffin. The blond was still beside her, tears streaming down her face.

"Ell ?"

"Thank you. You did it. Even after I..."

It was a ridiculous moment to have this conversation and Carmilla smiled. 

"After you betrayed me. But I should have told you. I should have showed you, Ell. I was too scared and I'm sorry. I was afraid to lose you. No, I was _terrified_ to lose you. And it only got you killed. My mother was right.".

She felt the weight of the world fall off of her shoulders as the words flew out of her mouth. Tears filled her own eyes, even if vampires couldn't cry, she had kept that human reflex. Ell's hand moved, caressing her cheeks.

"You would have lost me. You were always the brave one. You made me feel so safe. I... Don't think I could have handled the danger coming from you. And I'm so,  _so_  sorry for what she did to you. I could feel you in that coffin."

A brief flash of pain crossed her eyes and Carmilla's hand found the smaller girl's, intertwining their fingers in a supernatural embrace. 

"That really doesn't make me feel better."

Ell chuckled, a light bubbly sound that brought the vampire hundreds of years back. 

 

With a sad smile, she crawled back toward the nearest wall and sat with her back leaning on it. Ell followed, taking a seat on her left. They looked around the room, people were starting to realize what had happened. Perry ran to the captives still tied up, helping a dazed LaFontaine out of her ropes. They stood up, gave the taller girl a hug and bent down to untie the other girls. Some guys from the Zetas rushed forward to help their "bro" out, Kirsch looking even more lost than his usual state of mental confusion. They guided him out, exchanging rounds of shoulder slaps and fist bumps. Carmilla rolled her eyes, throwing her head back and resting it against the wall. Ell shifted closer, leaning her head on the vampire's shoulder.

"It's time for me to go, M."

The body next to her tensed, still unprepared to the expected news. 

"Now ? Can't you just stay for a little while ?" Carmilla internally cringed at her own voice. It sounded so tiny, so weak. She had never done vulnerable well, especially not with the smaller girl. Ell raised her head, meeting her eyes in a tender look. 

"You know I have to leave. You will be fine, Mircalla."

She sighed, a long, sad sigh that would have been even deeper if her lungs functioned more often. 

"I'm so tired. No matter what I do, I always end up alone. They never tell that part when they tell you about vampires. The part where the supernatural powers come with centuries of perpetual loneliness." A brief silence and a whispered proposition. "I could go with you."

Ell passed her tongue over her lips, a nervous habit Carmilla had always found adorable. Not this time though, as she could feel the refusal coming. She sighed and turned her head away, starring in front of her. 

"I would like nothing more than to say yes. But you need to keep going. To go on the adventures that were so cruelly ripped away from us, to discover the world. You're three centuries old and you're still so fascinated by it. I can feel it. I need you to live, M. And I promise you..." She took a breath and moved close enough to push her forehead against the vampire's cheek who passed her arm around the small girl's shoulders in return. She leaned into the contact, enjoying every last seconds

"We will meet again, darling. I will see you in your dreams."

She started to  _fade_  away. Carmilla couldn't exactly described how it happened, it was subtle at first. The warm contact became colder and colder, the colors of her face more vibrant against the grey stone. Like the sun preparing to pass behind the mountains. 

"El, please. Please. Don't leave me again. I can't..."

She swallowed a very human sob, putting all of her energy to prevent her voice from breaking. 

"I can't be alone anymore."

 

But the touch kept evaporating and lines defining her companion became blurry. She closed her eyes, foolishly hoping that keeping her mental image intact and not seeing the girl disappear would make her stay. She didn't open them when the presence at her side went away completely. She didn't look when the previously captive students passed her by, getting out of the chamber as fast as possible. She didn't see LaF and Perry walked up to her and the bio major tenderly pushing her taller friend away, their hands tightly interlaced. She missed Danny, picking up the remains of the book, the sword, and the dust her mother had left behind and putting them all together in the middle of the room. She did however smelled the fire as the last traces left by evil were burned away and heard footsteps growing louder until someone crouches next to her. She sighed and opened her eyes, already knowing who she would find. 

"Are you okay ?"

The vampire looked at her, keeping her face as neutral as possible. 

"I'm fine cutie."

Carmilla forced herself to stand, feeling her legs tremble under her weight. It forced her to acknowledge the terrible state her body was in. She was wearing torn, drenched clothes and her boots and jackets were covered by blood stains. The arm she had held the blade with was still numb, even weaker than the rest of her. She wasn't sure she could even move the useless limb. And the hunger was back. A terrible, growling hunger inside her. She was using all of her concentration to keep her fangs from coming out when Laura spoke again "I'm sorry about Ell."

She punctuated the sentence by a hand on her elbow. Carmilla didn't shrug off the touch, unable to feel anything than numbness in her heart anyway. 

"Why ? It's the way of the world. Life, death... Nothing we can do about it."

She cringed at her own voice. She didn't want to be mean to Laura but coldness was the only way she knew to keep people away. And she couldn't afford to let the other girl close again. Not when everything still felt so _raw_. For all of her plead to Ell about loneliness, there was nothing she needed more than to have some time alone. Keeping her eyes on the ground, she turned around and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving Laura's hand clutching nothing but thin air.


	2. First Contact

It was over. Laura was sitting in front of her computer, her hands wrapped around her empty blue mug, fingers looking for non existent warmth. Perry and LaFontaine were sitting on her bed, their backs to the wall. The shorter redhead was holding the floor Don with a vaguely confused look in their eyes, like they were just waking up after a long sleep. Perry was resting her head on her best friend's chest, listening to the regular heartbeat that was so familiar to her. She occasionally muttered "You're back. You're really back", the only interruption in the room's heavy silence. LaFontaine wouldn't verbally answer, only threading their fingers in Perry's hair in a habit that was comforting for both of them. Danny was back at the Summer Society residence, eager to check on her potentially injured sister. And Carmilla... Was still unaccounted for

 

 

Time passed with all of the occupants of room 307 ignoring it. Until LaFontaine's restless spirit interrupted the heavy silence. 

"So, which one of you is going to fill me in about what happened ?" 

Laura and Perry exchanged tired looks, neither knowing where to start. So much had happened in the last few days and they were nowhere near ready to relive the events. 

"Not everyone at the same time." A short silence as they considered the two girls apparent exhaustion. "Laura, you still kept your project updated, right?"

Laura nodded and turned the laptop toward the bed, wordlessly. She started the video of her asking Danny for an extension on her paper, before standing from the computer chair and walking over to the kitchen area. She took a can of grape soda out from the fridge and sighed when she noticed the emptiness left by the "Soy Milk" carton. It had been on the top shelf for weeks and she had grown used to it. Now its absence was just another reminder of her roommate's betrayal. She leaned her back on the wardrobe's side, her eyes wandering over the track field plunged in the dark. She was half listening to her own voice in the background, until "Sorry babe, no sword, no rescue. That's just the way the world is" caught her ear. LaFontaine turned the volume up and kept watching, pausing the stream of videos right after she had told her roommate to go away "We're done.". Laura could still taste the bitterness the words had left on her lips. 

 

"Seriously ?"

She sighed and walked closer to her bed. Perry was lying on it, plunged in a light sleep. LaFontaine was sitting on the edge and Laura took her seat back in the chair. 

"I know. I'm so confused, LaF. One second, she doesn't care enough to even try to save Kirsch, the next she shows up to kill both her Mother and the ancient Summerian thing."

LaFontaine was still looking at her, dumbfounded. 

"So you are serious." A brief silence as the redhead tried to get her thoughts together. "What would you have done ?" 

Laura looked at them, confused by the question "What do you mean ?"

"If the Dean had made you choose her next victim. Who would you have saved, Laura ? Kirsch or Carmilla ?"

 

 

Laura incredulously chuckled, trying to follow the redhead's train of thoughts. 

"I... That's not... Come on, LaF. I'm not a vampire with supernatural powers ! There would have been no way for me to fight back, she could."

"Who was she supposed to fight ? Will ? Kirsch ? _You ?_  There was never a deal to be made. The Dean just wanted her daughter back so she drove you two apart."

They get up from the bed and stood closer to Laura's computer, replaying the video they were debating. They paused a couple of seconds in , turning their head to face the girl sitting in front of the screen. They stared at each other for a while before the redhead sighed. 

"I know it must be weird to see your body being possessed but let's experiment something. Watch Carmilla and try to forget about yourself and all the guilt you feel over Kirsch."

 

So Laura watched the events unfold for what must be the fifteenth time already, slightly annoyed at her friend's request. She had watched the footage enough to know what happened. Carmilla had taken the easiest solution offered to her, without any consideration for Laura's friends or for what was the right decision to make. She had protected Laura but the freshman was so tired of everyone's overbearing attitude. LaFontaine couldn't be taking the vampire's side, right ? Their mutual thirst for knowledge is what brought them together in the first place. The redhead couldn't suddenly changed their mind and support Carmilla's lies and selfish attitude.  Laura tried to do what they asked, indulging them out of a residual sense of guilt over their kidnapping, more than her own open mind. She kept her eyes on her roommate as the video progressed. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed the unusually stiff body language and her face turned into a frown when Carmilla kept backing away from the Dean. It was subtle at first, but soon her knees were touching the bed and her whole body seemed to recoil from her Mother's touch. Laura was cringing by the time she reached the end of the video. Carmilla looked... Small. It was the only word to describe it. Her arrogant sarcastic attitude and the way she was usually oozing self confidence, all had vanished as soon as she had recognized her Mother. It had been replaced by a shadow of the vampire's usual self, leaving her more vulnerable than Laura thought possible. 

 

"What... Happened to her ?"

LaFontaine sighed. "Laura, what do you know about her relationship with the Dean ? Because that's much more than the usual 'I hate my controlling mother' teenager crisis. She was scared."

"I... I didn't notice." A long silence while Laura tried to wrap her mind around the new information. "She was... Scared ? Of her mother ?"

"Yes."

"And I told her... I did what the Dean wanted..."

"Yes."

Laura swallowed, silently. She remembered her initial reaction at the video. Surprise, shock, disbelief and a deep sense of disappointment. Perry had started pacing behind her, muttering about how "that bloodsucker wasn't going to take LaFontaine" and how "she's probably reporting our plan to the Dean right now". Laura hadn't said anything, trapped between her guilt for Kirsch and a cold feeling of betrayal. The floor don's accusations still made her furious at herself for trusting a vampire and at her roommate for her heartless deal. The stress from the last weeks, the fear and the anger combined with Carmilla's carefree body language when she came back into the room to create a perfect storm. Laura sighed, shaking her head. 

"You're right. I need to talk to Carmilla."

She stood up but LaFontaine held her back, catching her by the wrist. 

"No, you don't. You need to leave her time and let her come to you."

Baffled, Laura let herself fall back in the computer chair "But why ? And what if she never comes around ? What if she runs again ? I need to apologize."

She was suddenly hit by the possibility of never seeing her roommate again. It created an uncomfortable ache in her chest. She did realize earlier how much Carmilla had risked for her, going after a sword that was supposed to kill its wielder and facing the woman she was so terrorized of. "Of course I'm doing it for you." The memories brought tears to her eyes and she looked at LaFontaine. "I really need to talk to her, LaF."  

"You also need to trust her, Laura. She will come back." _I'll make sure of it._ They kept the last part for themselves, careful of the brunette expectations. 

 

Perry chose that moment to wake up, suddenly noticing where she had taken a nap.

"I'm sorry, Laura. I didn't mean to fall asleep." An awkward pause. "We should all go to bed. A good night's sleep will do wonder to deescalate this... Situation."

Laura nodded, no conviction in her voice as she approved. "Sleep, right." She was already wearing her pajamas so she barely moved, sitting on her bed with her gaze fixated on the floor. Perry worried "Laura ?"

The girl sighed "Can you stay here ? Just for a little while ? I'm so tired of the nightmares."

The tall girl sitting on the edge of the bed nodded and moved when Laura slid under the covers as LaFontaine spoke up. 

"Can I leave you with Perry ? I'll go check on the others"

"Sure. Can you thank Danny for me again ?

"I think you should tell her yourself. Goodnight Laura. Perry, I'll see you later."

The floor don nodded anxiously playing with her own fingers. They give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before walking to the door "Hey, don't worry. I've had enough party for a long time. I'll be back soon."

They closed the door behind themselves and turned to take the stairs, a decided look on their face.

 

After a quick stop, LaFontaine made their way to the science building. They climbed the stairs all the way to the roof, a bag slung over their shoulder. They paused at the heavy door, looking for the appropriate key on the janitor's chain. They had... Borrowed it on the second week of school, when the old man in charge of cleaning had ended their crucial test on the cafeteria food because it was "passed opening hours". He had cut off the power in the whole building seconds before they could discover the secret ingredient of the cafeteria's lemon pie. Didn't he know science never waited for opening hours ? They fumbled to find the right key and pushed against the old metallic door. They looked around and noticed a black shape at the opposite end of the roof, lying down near the edge. They walked up to it, making as much noise as possible. The footsteps weren't enough to make Carmilla react and they stood next to her when they were close enough. 

"Carmilla ?"

The vampire jumped up, landing square on her feet in a crouching position, fangs out and eyes wild. A predator ready to pounce. LaFontaine cringed but didn't budge, simply raising their hands in a calming movement. 

"I'm sorry. I tried to make noise but you didn't hear me. I didn't mean to startle you."

Slowly, the sharp canines retracted and Carmilla let herself slide in a seated position on the ground. Her feet were dangling over the edge of the roof, her head tilted up toward the stars. Her arms were crossed, her right hand cradled in front of her. 

"You should be scared."

"Why ? You're a vampire so I should assume you'll attack me ?"

"Yes."

The ghost of a smile passed on their face. 

"You're not a monster.

"Is that how you reassure yourself ?"

 

The redhead took a seat next to her, trying to catch her eyes. 

"No. It's the truth. You risked your life for us."

"I didn't do it for you."

They shook their head. "Of course not. You did it for Laura. And maybe for Ell too, I don't know."

The brunette didn't answer, her face emotionless. LaF frowned. 

"Hey..." It was soft and they waited until Carmilla turned her head in their direction before continuing. "I know Perry is sorry for how she treated you. She doesn't see you as a bloodsucking monster. She was under a lot of stress and she's still in shock. Laura is too." 

It worked and LaF noticed a glimmer of worry in the vampire's eyes. 

"How is she ?"

They knew the conversation wasn't about Perry anymore. "She's fine. I don't think she fully realized what happened. She held her own in that battle though, I think she injured Will again."

Carmilla shook her head lightly, looking back at the stars. 

"Of course she did."

 

Another pause and this time LaFontaine let the minutes passed. Filling the blank with senseless words would get them nowhere. A few seconds later, a sad whisper broke the silence.

"I couldn't tell her. I wanted to, I tried to... But I couldn't. She would have prepared some stupid, foolish plan to get Kirsch back. I would have lost her LaF. I couldn't lose her."

They repressed a surprised reaction at the brutally honest confession. They knew Carmilla would open up eventually, they had grown closer since the unspeakable library trip. The redhead had stopped questioning the vampire's allegiance after watching her fiercely protective attitude toward Laura. Carmilla had been reluctantly impressed by their recklessness and their research skills. They had come to an understanding and the brunette attitude had changed, progressively. She had stopped treating them like a child and even offered valuable - and non sarcastic - escape alternatives when the archives windows had disappeared. LaFontaine realized Laura's influence was showing more every day in the vampire's demeanor. They didn't expect to get through the tough facade so soon however. "So when you went after the sword... ?"

"It was the only way. Once she knew, she would have gone on some suicidal quest. I couldn't let Mother kill her. I didn't really think I would survive when I left. Mother had always won before, I just wanted to take her with me in death."

LaFontaine nodded. 

"So you would have died for Laura ? You still need to work on the whole 'I'm an evil heartless creature of the night' act."

Carmilla shrugged but turned her head, staring at them for the longest time.

 

When it became apparent the vampire had no answer forthcoming, the redhead spoke up :

"How do you feel ?"

The brunette returned her gaze in the sky. 

"I'm fine."

With a sad smile, LaFontaine slid closer and touched her shoulder. 

"Have you eaten ? I know that sword was supposed to consume you."

Another shrug. "Ell helped."

"You should still eat." They reached for their bag that was resting on the ground and took out a blood container, passing it to the brunette. 

"Here." A slight hesitation. "Will you let me look at your hand ?"

 

Without a word, Carmilla accepted what looked like a water bottle full of red liquid and took a couple of sips from it. She stayed impassive when the human reached for her injured hand, turning it to see the extent of the damages. LaFontaine gasped audibly when they examine the limb. The skin of the palm was a dark brown color, almost black in a violent contrast to the vampire's usual pale complexion. It felt rough, almost leathery under her fingertips. 

"You need to see a doctor."

"Don't you think the lack of heartbeat might be a problem ?" A sigh and a tired look.  "I'm a vampire. I'll heal."

"You..." They matched the previous sigh. "Are probably right. I guess the infection risk is not really a concern. Let me cover it at least ?"

The wordless sound they received as an answer was more than enough. They took a sterile dressing out of the lab's first aid kit they had picked up on their way and loosely wrapped it around the injured hand. 

"Just don't try to juggle with fire for a while and you'll be fine. You can sleep in my dorm, if you want. I'm staying with Perry."

The offer earned her a first genuine half smile from Carmilla. 

"I'm fine here. But thank you."

"Anytime."

 

They stood up, put the empty water bottle back into the kit and awkwardly pat the vampire on the shoulder. 

"I'll be back tomorrow."

Surprised, Carmilla turned to them with a raised eyebrow. 

"Who put you on vampire babysitting duty ?"

"Perry stayed with Laura until she fell asleep because she was scared of nightmares. Danny is back at the Summer Society, even Kirsch is with his bros. I just thought you shouldn't be alone. It wouldn't be fair."

"Life is unfair."

LaFontaine breathed out, a slightly exasperated sound. 

"I'll leave you to your stars. Goodnight, Carmilla."

The brunette half turned her face again, the starlight reflecting partially in her eyes. 

"Thanks, bio major."

They smiled, partially reassured by the familiar nickname. The vampire they had grown used to was still there, just affected by the battle like the rest of them. It was such a human reaction and it touched the redhead. They knew Carmilla often visited the roof of the science building in her solitary expedition, they had seen her shadow more than once when they stayed late to run tests at the lab. With a quick promise to keep an eye on the brunette, they climbed down the stairs in a rush to get back to the dorm. Perry was waiting for them and there was no way they would make her worry more than necessary.  

 

Carmilla watched as they closed the heavy metallic door behind them. The science building's roof was her favorite place to look at the stars, it was the highest on campus and the labs were supposed to close early. She had regularly noticed the single light still shining until late at night in one experiment room, but she had never investigated. She looked at her hand, gingerly touching her bandaged injuries. She didn't feel any pain but the sight of the white tissue was unfamiliar to her. It warmed her in an unexpected, welcomed way. The emotional numbness left by Ell loosened its hold on her heart. Feeling the girl fading away had hurt but not as much as she thought it would. She had changed in all her years trapped in the light and something had been missing between them. Back when they first met, they had bounded over their need for more than what the 19th century could offer to any rich girl. Ell had wanted to see the world and Carmilla had finally found a kindred spirit. Someone who would debate philosophy, history, life's meaning with her until the early hours of the morning. She had been living for more than a century and it was the first time she could connect with someone. It had enticed her to Ell and she had immediately felt a deep need to protect that human. Because the world was a scary place and would try to crush naive sweet girls like her, the first danger being her own mother. Ell had indulged her over protectiveness with a kind smile and a bubbly laugh. "I shall keep you away from Father. You are turning more like him every passing day." She hadn't answered, only warning her that danger often existed in the most unexpected form. The human had shrugged off her advice and Carmilla had never found the courage to explain what had her so scared. Not until it had been far too late...

She sighed and stood up, wincing as the pain in her entire right arm came alive. She wandered her gaze into the stars, letting her thoughts turn to her roommate. Laura who was so much like Ell while being so different. Laura who bombarded her with questions until she understood exactly what the danger was. Laura who wanted to confront it without a care for her own safety, just because it was the right thing to do. Reckless, foolish, brave Laura. That courage had brought them closer together, as the journalist student never shied away from her vampire side. She had made a bigger deal out of hair in the shower drain than blood being stocked in their fridge. Carmilla was taken aback by a sudden surge of need in her heart. She acknowledged it and felt an unconscious smile shaped her lips. She had to see Laura.

She was far from ready for any kind of conversation however, so she crouched and shifted into her animal counterpart. Her mind was still hers but the feline body would let her deflect any attempts at conversation. Laura wouldn't even be aware of her presence. Besides, she was faster and it was easier to hide as a panther. She jumped from the science building to the nearest roof, making her way to their dorm. She landed on the building that had been home to her for the last month, stopping on room 307's side. She leaped into the tree facing her, aiming for a sturdy branch at the window's height. She took a look inside, everything was dark and Laura was alone. In a last jump, she made her way to the window, sliding it open with her front paws.

She touched the wooden floor and crawled to the human's bed. The girl was sleeping restlessly, her face frowning at some invisible dream. Carmilla hesitated, she knew she had no right to intrude in the girl's dream anymore. Not after their fight and her refusal to face the human after the battle in the Lustig building. She lay on the floor, as close to the bed as she could. She tried to block out the scared mutterings but her acute hearing didn't let her. "No, please. Help me. Carm...". Carmilla tilted her head. She couldn't ignore direct pleas for help. But shifting form to comfort the girl was out of question, it would force her into a conversation she wasn't ready for. Laura never cared much about the time of the day when she wanted to talk. So the vampire did the only thing she could think of, climbing on the bed next to the small girl. She stayed on the covers, curling up close to the side and loosely wrapping her tail around the human. She knew the unknown presence had good chances of waking her roommate and she trusted her to think fast enough and recognize the "cat" that had been wandering in her dreams for so many weeks. 

 

Laura sat up with a startled gasp, her eyes wide opened. She couldn't remember what had woken her but a deep feeling of fear was still installed in her guts. There had been blood again but no girl in a nightdress. Only a dark shadow with the Dean's voice, standing over Carmilla's broken body. Laura shivered and rubbed her eyes, trying to get the picture out of her mind.

"Freaking nightm..."

Her voice caught in her throat when she noticed a black furry thing around her waist. She followed it and her eyes fell on what looked like a giant cat taking up the entire left side of the bed. The animal was black, its front paws crossed under its large head nuzzling her yellow pillow. Its chest was heaving with long deep breaths and it was laying half on its front, back legs almost touching the other end of the bed. Laura swallowed, trying to remember where she had last put her bear spray. If it could fight off bears, it would probably work against giant animals from the jungle, right ? She moved her left leg slowly toward the wall, trying to slip her body as far away from the intruder as possible. 

 

She was still trying to precariously make her way out of bed when she caught the animals eyes. It was  _awake_. But the cat was simply peering at her with green familiar eyes and the girl froze. She recognized the intelligent gleam in the animal's gaze.

"Are you... You're the giant black cat from my dreams ?"

The cat obviously couldn't answer and Laura took a deep breath. It had protected her for weeks in her sleep, going after vampires and chasing away evil flashes of light relentlessly. It was safe to assume it didn't materialize itself to kill her. After all stranger - and more dangerous - things had happened on the Silas campus. For now, it didn't look about to eat her. It seemed almost sleepy, until Laura reached out to touch it in a thoughtless reflex. The animal jumped away and landed between the two beds, stumbling as its right front paw hit the ground. It turned to look at her and curled up on the floor, its eyes glued to the human. 

"I'm... I'm sorry."

It tilted its head to the side and Laura held its gaze for a moment longer before lying back down. 

"I don't know why you're not in my dreams anymore. But thanks for waking me up." 

She closed her eyes, falling back into slumber under the vigilant look of the cat.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Warning : I feel like I know what I'm doing now (Which I probably don't, let's be honest) so it's not only a one-shot. I can see 3-4 other chapters, I don't know yet.


End file.
